I don’t normally play through games that I find myself hating as I usually have a gigantic backlog waiting to be played. However some games are different and reach a special level of hate where I feel like I must beat them or they will have beaten me. Because games like this are rare, I have decided they are worth chronicling. Learn from my pain and don’t play them.
I had never been so excited for a game as when I ran to pick up Devil May Cry 2 after my shift at the comic book store. I really thought there was just no way I would dislike the game. I’d watched trailers and lots of video and I just knew it was going to be amazing. I was so wrong that I could not believe how wrong I was.
I haven’t played DMC2 since I first beat it, and I will never play it again so I’m not going to give a big detailed rundown but it was disappointing in pretty much every way possible. The combat was boring, the story was completely nonsensical, Dante went from being an endearing smartass to a silent guy with no personality and the boss fights that had looked so big and great in the preview videos were actually really tiny and boring.
One boss, specifically, that I won’t forget is the monster-building thing. In the completely misleading preview videos it seemed like it was a massive, multi-part battle against an effing building that was going to kick so much ass and be so much fun it was ridiculous. When I got to this boss myself, however, it was a “stand next to this thing and press X a lot and dodge sometimes” affair. Extremely disappointed is a light way of describing how I felt.
I finished DMC2 because I was waiting for something to happen that would make it fun or interesting or just maybe alleviate my hatred levels a little bit. Instead I ran through a lot of brownish areas, hit some things, was bored and irritated that this Lucia chick wasn’t as cool as Trisch from the first game. When I beat the game it made a big woop about how I unlocked some special Diesel apparel for Dante to wear the next time I played through (which I had already decided would be never).
The only time the DMC2 disc has been anywhere near my PS2 since then was right before DMC3 came out. My boyfriend wanted to play through before we picked up the third installment since he had loved the first a ton. I warned him about how bad and boring a game it is, but he wanted to see for himself. He played for about twenty minutes before returning the game to its case.
The Ratchet and Clank games are the reason why I own a PS3 right now. While I own both a Wii and a 360, I had a platformer shaped hole in my heart that only a Lombax and his robot best friend could fill. When the PS3 slim model came out, my boyfriend got one for me so that I would stop wistfully staring at the two Ratchet and Clank Future titles whenever we were at a game store. I really love the series.
As I am now finishing up the trophy list for A Crack in Time, I figured it is a good time to revisit all the games in the series and finishing it all off with a hard mode run of Crack. I’ll be playing them in the order that they were released:
- Ratchet and Clank
- Ratchet and Clank: Going Command
- Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal
- Ratchet: Deadlocked
- Ratchet and Clank: Size Matters
- Ratchet and Clank Future: Tools of Destruction
- Secret Agent Clank
- Ratchet & Clank Future: Quest for Booty
- Ratchet and Clank Future: A Crack in Time
This is a lot of games, and all of them except Quest for Booty clock in between 10 and 20 hours so I’m not offering a solid timeframe on the project. I do also have new games to play and then a gigantic backlog. It’s just something I’m gonna do whenever the whim strikes me.
Size Matters and Secret Agent Clank were originally PSP titles ported to PS2 and I own the ports, not the original game. I figured that playing through platformers with the PSP nub would make me throw the device against the wall and should be avoided. They were also not made by Insomniac proper but that’s a whole other thing.
I have not played the first three R&C games in a number of years, but in my experience, good platformers (non early-Castlevania division) age really well so I don’t expect to hate them or anything. I do miss the chicken gun. I was very entertained by it way back when and am excited to turn enemies into confused hens again.